1.
Once there were three men, Charlie, Mason and Buck, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.
As they stood at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter came up to them and said, “You will all be given a method of transportation for your
Once there were three men, Charlie, Mason and Buck, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.
As they stood at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter came up to them and said, “You will all be given a method of transportation for your
2.
A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife cant hear him.How bad is it? the doctor asks.I have no idea, the husband says.Well, please test herStand 20 feet away from her and say something.If she doesn't hear you, get closer and say the same thin
A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife cant hear him.How bad is it? the doctor asks.I have no idea, the husband says.Well, please test herStand 20 feet away from her and say something.If she doesn't hear you, get closer and say the same thin
3.
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.One of the hillbillies looks at her
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.One of the hillbillies looks at her
4.
… noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor.The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget.They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream
… noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor.The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget.They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream
5.
A guy comes home from work and he is quite upset.His wife looks worried and asks him what's wrong.He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.“Honey, what i
A guy comes home from work and he is quite upset.His wife looks worried and asks him what's wrong.He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.“Honey, what i
6.
My 3-year-old son had a hard time with potty training and I was on him all the time.One day we stopped by McDonald's to pick up a quick bite to eat between errands.The restaurant was packed.As I was enjoying my burger, I got a really unpleasant whiff of s
My 3-year-old son had a hard time with potty training and I was on him all the time.One day we stopped by McDonald's to pick up a quick bite to eat between errands.The restaurant was packed.As I was enjoying my burger, I got a really unpleasant whiff of s
7.
A call girl standing outside a motel in a small town saw a 70+ year old man walking past.She hasn't had a customer for a while so she whistles at him and says,“Hey, would you like to have some fun time with me?”The old man said, “But I won't be able to…”C
A call girl standing outside a motel in a small town saw a 70+ year old man walking past.She hasn't had a customer for a while so she whistles at him and says,“Hey, would you like to have some fun time with me?”The old man said, “But I won't be able to…”C
8.
Johnny went to confession, at the beginning of Lent….
“Bless me Father for I have sinned.
It has been 3 months since my last confession.
In that time I have disobeyed my parents nine times, missed Sunday Mass once, had impure thoughts, oh,
abo
Johnny went to confession, at the beginning of Lent….
“Bless me Father for I have sinned.
It has been 3 months since my last confession.
In that time I have disobeyed my parents nine times, missed Sunday Mass once, had impure thoughts, oh,
abo
9.
…and sees two priests walking across the street.He staggers towards the two priests and stops in front of them.He turns to the first priest and proudly says, “I'm Jesus Christ!”The first priest shakes his head and replies, “No, son, you're not.”He then tu
…and sees two priests walking across the street.He staggers towards the two priests and stops in front of them.He turns to the first priest and proudly says, “I'm Jesus Christ!”The first priest shakes his head and replies, “No, son, you're not.”He then tu
10.
Three pregnant women are sitting in a cafe having lunch when one of them says.
“I know that I’m going to have a boy.”
The other two women think about that for a moment, and then one of them says.
“OK, how do you know you’re going to have a boy?”<
Three pregnant women are sitting in a cafe having lunch when one of them says.
“I know that I’m going to have a boy.”
The other two women think about that for a moment, and then one of them says.
“OK, how do you know you’re going to have a boy?”<
11.
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan,
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan,
12.
A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US…
… and after a base hit, he hears the fans roaring, “Run… Run!”
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent, “R-
A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US…
… and after a base hit, he hears the fans roaring, “Run… Run!”
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent, “R-
13.
Queensland farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favourite bar, drinking beer.Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes.”
Queensland farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favourite bar, drinking beer.Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes.”
14.
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.”
intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. ” i found a phone in the priests room.”
said the first nun.
“oh thats nothing said the second one, i found c*ndo
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.”
intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. ” i found a phone in the priests room.”
said the first nun.
“oh thats nothing said the second one, i found c*ndo
15.
Little Timothy was a bright young boy, and he was even fairly handsome.
The only problem was that he was lost his eye in a fishing accident when he was younger.
His family was too poor to afford a glass eye, so his grandfather whittled him a wooden
Little Timothy was a bright young boy, and he was even fairly handsome.
The only problem was that he was lost his eye in a fishing accident when he was younger.
His family was too poor to afford a glass eye, so his grandfather whittled him a wooden
16.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were each given the same red rubber ball and told to find the volume.The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were each given the same red rubber ball and told to find the volume.The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in
17.
There was an old man who was admitted in a hospital.A young man would visit him every day, and sit with him for more than one hourHe would help him eat his food, and take his shower.He would then take him walking in the garden of the hospital.After that h
There was an old man who was admitted in a hospital.A young man would visit him every day, and sit with him for more than one hourHe would help him eat his food, and take his shower.He would then take him walking in the garden of the hospital.After that h
18.
A Prisoner is digging a tunnel out of prisonHe is slowly making progress day by day, but with just a spoon for a shovel it seems like an impossible task.After numerous years of blood and sweat, he finally manages to reach the surface outside of the prison
A Prisoner is digging a tunnel out of prisonHe is slowly making progress day by day, but with just a spoon for a shovel it seems like an impossible task.After numerous years of blood and sweat, he finally manages to reach the surface outside of the prison
19.
A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on itIn order the figures were:A Woman. A Donkey. A Shovel. A Fish. A Star of David.After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the lea
A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on itIn order the figures were:A Woman. A Donkey. A Shovel. A Fish. A Star of David.After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the lea
20.
He couldn't decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might just as well ask them.“I've got two things for you, but you'll have to decide who gets what. The first thing is the ability to pee standing up…”Adam interrupted, “Oh please
He couldn't decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might just as well ask them.“I've got two things for you, but you'll have to decide who gets what. The first thing is the ability to pee standing up…”Adam interrupted, “Oh please
21.
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up and said,
“Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donk
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up and said,
“Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donk
22.
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, “Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?”“Yeah, I do!” a biker says, standing up“What about it?”“Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…”“What are you talkin' about?!” the biker says, disbelievingly“How c
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, “Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?”“Yeah, I do!” a biker says, standing up“What about it?”“Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…”“What are you talkin' about?!” the biker says, disbelievingly“How c
23.
A circus owner ran an ad for a lion tamer, and two young people showed up.One was a good-looking lad in his mid-twenties, and the other was a gorgeous blonde about the same age.The circus owner told them, “I'm not going to sugar-coat itThis is one ferocio
A circus owner ran an ad for a lion tamer, and two young people showed up.One was a good-looking lad in his mid-twenties, and the other was a gorgeous blonde about the same age.The circus owner told them, “I'm not going to sugar-coat itThis is one ferocio
24.
A seven years old and a four years old kids are upstairs in their bedroom.“You know what?”, says the seven years old, “I think it's about time we started swearing.”The four years old nods his head in approval.“When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna
A seven years old and a four years old kids are upstairs in their bedroom.“You know what?”, says the seven years old, “I think it's about time we started swearing.”The four years old nods his head in approval.“When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna
25.
“Did Santa get you that?” “Yes,” replies the little girl.“Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” and fines her $5.The little girl looks up at the cop and says,“Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?”The cop chuckles and r
“Did Santa get you that?” “Yes,” replies the little girl.“Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” and fines her $5.The little girl looks up at the cop and says,“Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?”The cop chuckles and r
26.
One day a hare met a tortoiseShe made fun of slow pace of the tortoise and said,“You have as many legs as I have but I am sure, you cannot run as fast as I canMost probably you can't run at all”.The tortoise became very angryHe answered quietly, “You can
One day a hare met a tortoiseShe made fun of slow pace of the tortoise and said,“You have as many legs as I have but I am sure, you cannot run as fast as I canMost probably you can't run at all”.The tortoise became very angryHe answered quietly, “You can
27.
Russ and Fred, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Russ didn’t show up.
Fred didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something..
But after Russ
Russ and Fred, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Russ didn’t show up.
Fred didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something..
But after Russ
28.
The patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.“Things don't look good.The only chance is a brain transplant.This is an experimental procedure.It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to p
The patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.“Things don't look good.The only chance is a brain transplant.This is an experimental procedure.It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to p
29.
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each yearIf he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady.He refrained from speaking for two whole ye
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each yearIf he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady.He refrained from speaking for two whole ye
30.
A man, reading a book by candle-light, came across a sentence which stated that men with long beards were fools.This distressed the man because he had a long beard himself.He had always thought the beard made him look scholarly and dignified, but now he b
A man, reading a book by candle-light, came across a sentence which stated that men with long beards were fools.This distressed the man because he had a long beard himself.He had always thought the beard made him look scholarly and dignified, but now he b
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