1.
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and the bride was 23.
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious y
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and the bride was 23.
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious y
2.
A man in a bar saw a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he commented, “You look terribleWhat's the problem?”“My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.”“Gee, that's tough,” he replied.“Then in July,” the friend cont
A man in a bar saw a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he commented, “You look terribleWhat's the problem?”“My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.”“Gee, that's tough,” he replied.“Then in July,” the friend cont
3.
When the expensive printer/ photocopier in an office began print black lines on every page,The office manager called a local repair shop,where a friendly man informed him that the unit probably needed only to be cleaned.Because the store charged $100 for
When the expensive printer/ photocopier in an office began print black lines on every page,The office manager called a local repair shop,where a friendly man informed him that the unit probably needed only to be cleaned.Because the store charged $100 for
4.
A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.His wife glares at him and says, “Who
A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.His wife glares at him and says, “Who
5.
A rich man comes home and immediately starts shouting at his wife.
“I’ve been looking at our expenses and they are through the roof! What have you got so much to spend on? From now on, things will need to be different!” “Different how?” the wife asked.
A rich man comes home and immediately starts shouting at his wife.
“I’ve been looking at our expenses and they are through the roof! What have you got so much to spend on? From now on, things will need to be different!” “Different how?” the wife asked.
6.
Sarah and Abe are out celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary.During the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of (their) life insurance, an issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years, without success.“Abe,” she says, with tears in her eye
Sarah and Abe are out celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary.During the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of (their) life insurance, an issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years, without success.“Abe,” she says, with tears in her eye
7.
It was a few days before Valentine’s Day and a young woman was taking an afternoon nap.
After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day! What do you think it means?” Her husband smiled.
It was a few days before Valentine’s Day and a young woman was taking an afternoon nap.
After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day! What do you think it means?” Her husband smiled.
8.
Dog’s Letters to God
Dear God:
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Excuse me, but why are there cars nam
Dog’s Letters to God
Dear God:
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Excuse me, but why are there cars nam
9.
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest.
The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest.
The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and
10.
A couple were going out for the eveningThey'd gotten ready, all dressed up, cat put out, etc.The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in.They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband
A couple were going out for the eveningThey'd gotten ready, all dressed up, cat put out, etc.The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in.They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband
11.
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay upWhat should I do?”“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer.“Nope,” replied the man.“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,” said th
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay upWhat should I do?”“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer.“Nope,” replied the man.“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,” said th
12.
A reverend awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard.
He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it.
He called the sanitation department, the health department and several other agencies, but no one seemed able
A reverend awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard.
He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it.
He called the sanitation department, the health department and several other agencies, but no one seemed able
13.
A farmer had 5 female pigs but times were hard and he needed a solution.
A farmer had 5 female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer who owned 5 male pigs.
After talkin
A farmer had 5 female pigs but times were hard and he needed a solution.
A farmer had 5 female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer who owned 5 male pigs.
After talkin
14.
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war.The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins.He got to a phone and called her right away.“Oh honey, I'm so happy,” he said“Who took you to the hospital?”“Yo
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war.The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins.He got to a phone and called her right away.“Oh honey, I'm so happy,” he said“Who took you to the hospital?”“Yo
15.
A woman goes to her doctor for her annual check up.The nurse starts with certain basic items.‘How much do you weigh?' she asks‘Eight and a half stone,' the woman says.The nurse puts her on the scales and tells; her weight is actually ten stoneThe nurse as
A woman goes to her doctor for her annual check up.The nurse starts with certain basic items.‘How much do you weigh?' she asks‘Eight and a half stone,' the woman says.The nurse puts her on the scales and tells; her weight is actually ten stoneThe nurse as
16.
… These generals definitely were impressed by what they saw!An American, English and Russian general were having coffee together at the front in World War 2, arguing over who has the bravest soldiers.The British general called one of his men over.“Private
… These generals definitely were impressed by what they saw!An American, English and Russian general were having coffee together at the front in World War 2, arguing over who has the bravest soldiers.The British general called one of his men over.“Private
17.
The new preacher moves his things into his new office and comes across the former pastor, taking his items out. The former pastor says, “I left three envelopes in your desk. If you have any trouble, open them.” Well, of course the new preacher thinks he
The new preacher moves his things into his new office and comes across the former pastor, taking his items out. The former pastor says, “I left three envelopes in your desk. If you have any trouble, open them.” Well, of course the new preacher thinks he
18.
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
19.
Dave and his wife were working in their garden one day when Dave looks over at his wife and says, “Your butt is getting really bigI bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then w
Dave and his wife were working in their garden one day when Dave looks over at his wife and says, “Your butt is getting really bigI bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then w
20.
“Hey, man! How have you been?”“Oh, great,” says the other“I have recently bought an elephant.”“An elephant? Are you serious?” asks his friend.“Yeah, manThe kids love him, he's their best friendThey call him Mr TrunksHe washes my car with his trunkI don't
“Hey, man! How have you been?”“Oh, great,” says the other“I have recently bought an elephant.”“An elephant? Are you serious?” asks his friend.“Yeah, manThe kids love him, he's their best friendThey call him Mr TrunksHe washes my car with his trunkI don't
21.
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.Her husband suggested, “Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms thatare growing wild down by the stream? No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous.”“W
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.Her husband suggested, “Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms thatare growing wild down by the stream? No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous.”“W
22.
A farmer from the cotton fields of Central Texas dies and goes to hellWhy? Well, only his wife, God and the Devil knows!Once there, the Devil notices that this farmer is not suffering like the rest there areHe checks his gauges and sees that it's 95 degre
A farmer from the cotton fields of Central Texas dies and goes to hellWhy? Well, only his wife, God and the Devil knows!Once there, the Devil notices that this farmer is not suffering like the rest there areHe checks his gauges and sees that it's 95 degre
23.
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.”
intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. ” i found a phone in the priests room.”
said the first nun.
“oh thats nothing said the second one, i found c*ndo
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.”
intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. ” i found a phone in the priests room.”
said the first nun.
“oh thats nothing said the second one, i found c*ndo
24.
A kindergarten teacher is having her birthday and three of her students decided to bring her a gift.The first students was little Timmy and his dad owned a Candy Store.Timmy walked up to his teacher and handed her a nice little gift wrapped boxThe teacher
A kindergarten teacher is having her birthday and three of her students decided to bring her a gift.The first students was little Timmy and his dad owned a Candy Store.Timmy walked up to his teacher and handed her a nice little gift wrapped boxThe teacher
25.
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t s
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t s
26.
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.
So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.
So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of
27.
I would like to share a personal experience I had about drinking and driving.
This might save you the cost and embarrassment of being arrested for DWI.
As you know, people have been known to have unexpected brushes with the authorities from time to
I would like to share a personal experience I had about drinking and driving.
This might save you the cost and embarrassment of being arrested for DWI.
As you know, people have been known to have unexpected brushes with the authorities from time to
28.
Three sons left home, said goodbye to their dear single mother, went out on their own and prospered.
Then one day, revisiting together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother on her birthday.
They all loved her dearly,
Three sons left home, said goodbye to their dear single mother, went out on their own and prospered.
Then one day, revisiting together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother on her birthday.
They all loved her dearly,
29.
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her:“If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow-plow to come by, and follow it.”Sure enough, pretty soon a snow-
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her:“If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow-plow to come by, and follow it.”Sure enough, pretty soon a snow-
30.
A man is talking to his best friend about married life.
“You know,” he says, “I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me.
But there’s always that doubt.”
His friend says, “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
A couple of we
A man is talking to his best friend about married life.
“You know,” he says, “I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me.
But there’s always that doubt.”
His friend says, “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
A couple of we
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